


Anything You Can Do

by Lady_in_Red



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Dirty Talk, Bad Pick-Up Lines, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Jealousy, Mild Smut, Neighbors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-13 15:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21163625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_in_Red/pseuds/Lady_in_Red
Summary: Jaime is getting really tired of hearing his neighbor having sex through their shared wall. Mostly because he wishes he was the one in her bed.





	Anything You Can Do

**Author's Note:**

> So this started from a smut dialogue prompt but refused to go totally smutty. Also somewhat inspired by "One" by Lewis Capaldi.  
This was also supposed to be a thousand words. So failure all around but still fun, I hope.

“He called me boring.”

“What?” Jaime was a little buzzed, but he was pretty sure they were arguing the merits of the designated hitter a second ago. 

“Hyle.” Brienne shrugged and took another long pull from her beer, tipping her head back to finish it. She levered herself off the couch and collected the empty bottles from Jaime’s coffee table. “He said I was boring and unless I was willing to spice things up, we were done.”

She dropped the bottles into the trash and yanked open his fridge, staring into it for a moment before pulling out another six-pack. 

This was not how he’d intended to spend his Friday night, but when Brienne knocked on his door asking to use the spare key she’d given him, somehow she’d ended up on his couch, eating his pizza and drinking his beers and watching a documentary on archaeological evidence of dragons in Valyria. It wasn't like Brienne to forget her keys, so it didn't surprise Jaime to know that Hyle was at fault.

Brienne had moved into the apartment next door six months ago, but Hyle had only been on the scene for two months. Two very long months, since Jaime’s bedroom and Brienne’s shared a paper-thin wall. He much preferred the previous four months, when their verbal sparring had slowly turned into a casual friendship. He could hear her watching late-night comedians in bed, her smoky laughter just on the other side of the wall, and it was almost like not being alone.

“What did you say?” Jaime asked, cautious just in case she decided to take the idiot back. Nothing soured a friendship faster than bashing their significant other. 

“I told him he was a lousy lay, and I left.” She grinned, proud of herself and swaying a little as she walked. Neither of them were big drinkers. 

She handed Jaime a fresh beer and opened her own as she dropped back onto the couch beside him. “Normally I’d say that’s a low blow, but the truth hurts.” 

“How would you—” Brienne froze, her eyes darting between Jaime and the open door of his bedroom. He could see the wheels turning in her head, and a flush spread from the open collar of her white shirt all the way up the column of her throat to her face. “Oh gods,” she moaned, “why didn’t you ever say anything?” 

Jaime took a long drink of his beer, playing for time. At first, he really wanted to complain. From the speed and ferocity with which the headboard hit the wall, Hyle fucked like a jackhammer. He also grunted porny lines like “Tell me how much you want my cock” and “I’ve got a better use for that mouth” before thankfully devolving to strangled moans when he came. Jaime heard the orgasms Brienne faked, too. Hyle always left a few minutes after they finished. And then Brienne would get out her vibrator. 

Jaime cleared his throat and pulled the throw blanket over his lap. “I didn’t want to embarrass you. Besides, he never lasted very long.”

Her cheeks were warm and red by now, her big blue eyes a little hazy. She licked a drop of beer off her lip and Jaime hardened even more. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when his tall, insanely athletic neighbor had stopped irritating him and started arousing him, but listening to her get off on the other side of the wall certainly hadn’t hurt. Jaime only felt bad about eavesdropping when he took himself in hand while he listened to her. Somehow that felt like crossing a line. 

Brienne’s cheeks were bright pink with embarrassment, but when she chuckled awkwardly he joined her. “Well, I did say he was a lousy lay.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was her flushed skin or the ease with which she made herself at home in his space, but Jaime felt bold. “I could do better,” he said, leaning toward her so his knee brushed against hers.

Brienne’s eyes widened, and she laughed. “Of course you could.” She patted his knee, like he hadn’t just offered to fuck her. Jaime had thought about it. A lot. But in his fantasies she climbed into his lap and pulled her shirt over her head. She most definitely didn’t patronize him and act like his desire for her was a joke. 

“I could,” he insisted. It wouldn’t be difficult to improve on a man who thought that telling her how hard he was going to fuck her was the height of seduction.  _ _

“Oh, don’t pout, Jaime. It’s not as if you were serious.” She relaxed against the cushions, taking another long swig of her beer. 

He liked watching her, liked the long, elegant line of her throat, liked the way her plush lips wrapped around the mouth of the bottle. His voice was a little hoarse when he countered, “Who says I wasn’t serious?”

Brienne laughed again, snorting indelicately, and set her bottle down. “Jaime, you thought I was a man for the first two weeks I lived here.”

Okay, so that was technically true. “In my defense, it was winter, you were wearing a huge parka, and your hair was very short.” The doorman also said her name was Brian, so it really wasn’t Jaime’s fault. 

“It’s fine. I get it. Guys like you don’t …  _ proposition  _ women like me.” She waved a hand over herself as if to emphasize her point. 

Okay, Brienne wasn’t movie star pretty or conventional in any way. He still wanted her crazy long legs wrapped around his waist, her husky voice moaning his name.

Jaime put his bottle down on the floor and turned the full power of his smile on her. “There are no guys like me, Brienne. There’s only me.” 

She shoved his shoulder. “Does that actually work on women?”

Jaime smiled wickedly. “I don’t know. Is it working on you?”

She shook her head. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.” 

“Oh, I heard a good one the other night. Is your name Winter?” Jaime stopped and looked at her expectantly.

“No.” Brienne’s eyes narrowed, waiting for the punchline.

Jaime grinned slyly and deliberately waggled his eyebrows in as ridiculous a manner as possible. If she wasn't going to take this seriously, he could at least make her laugh. “You must be Winter, because you’ll be coming soon.”

Brienne’s laugh was loud and contagious, and he loved it so much that he kept tossing out terrible pickup lines, each one more and more ludicrous. Finally his sides hurt from laughing and they were somehow sitting much closer than before, his shoulder touching hers, and their giggles slowly died out. 

Jaime glanced at her face, still flushed and her eyes sparkling with laughter, and couldn’t help himself. “What did Hyle say? To win you over?”

She fetched her beer to take a long sip before putting it back. “He had suite tickets for a ballgame.” 

That was it? Jaime’s father had a suite, and it had never occurred to him to take her. “Okay, that was a decent move,” he admitted. “But I can do better.”

“Do you even need moves?” Her voice dripped with skepticism, her brow adorably furrowed. “I mean, can’t you just crook your finger and anyone you want is drawn in like a moth to a flame?” 

Jaime might not be the seducer she thought he was, but he did understand the power he had over some people. A bit of puppy dog eyes here, a bitten lip there, a shy smile and a request for assistance, he’d done it all when he needed something. It never meant anything. But he wanted her and he was fairly certain she wasn’t indifferent to him. 

He crooked his finger in her direction and purred, “Come here.”

Her cheeks flushed and she bit her lip, but she didn’t move. 

Jaime crooked his finger again and winked at her. “Must be broken. Well, if that didn’t work, I’d have to …” He let his gaze wander over the skin her open collar exposed. A tiny silver star pendant hung on a delicate chain over her collarbone, glinting against her pale, freckled skin. He smiled, let himself reach out and touch the pendant with one fingertip, deliberately letting his knuckles brush her skin before he pulled away, leaving his arm stretched over the back of the couch beside her shoulders. “Sorry, I got distracted. Where were we?”

Brienne was trying desperately not to smile at him. “You were showing me your moves,” she prompted.

Much as he delighted in her amusement, Jaime was getting a little tired of being misunderstood. It felt deliberate at this point, an easy way to brush him off without an overt rejection. And he didn’t understand it. There’d been heat between them almost from the beginning, they’d just channeled it into bickering for a long time, then teasing and competition. 

“Ah yes. You know, I was just thinking, I’d love to show you the sword in my bedroom.” Tyrion had suggested that line, back when he still bothered to try to push Jaime out into the dating world. And while Jaime would never say that to a stranger, he would say it to her, to give her one more chance to flirt back.

“You want to show me your sword?” Brienne snickered at the obvious innuendo, but her skin was flushed, and her eyes were dark, and there was no way their closeness and banter weren’t having an effect on her. 

Maybe Brienne really thought he was joking, or maybe she didn’t know how to flirt. They could dance around this all night, until she probably went back to her place alone, or Jaime could drop the doublespeak. “I do have a sword on my wall, but no, what I want to do is make you forget you ever met that asshole. I want to kiss you for hours, I want to strip you down and taste every inch of you.” 

Her eyes widened and she made a breathy little noise in her throat. “Jaime—”

He didn’t give her a chance to continue, too scared Brienne would reject him again, with words he couldn’t rationalize away. Jaime leaned in and kissed her, one hand cupping her face and the other pulling her closer. 

For a few endless seconds Brienne didn’t move, but then her mouth softened against his and her hands were in his hair. The couch’s springs creaked as they shifted around, hands exploring, bodies pressed together. Jaime lost track of time, lost track of when his shirt came off and how hers ended up crumpled under them. 

He was light-headed when he pulled away and stood, his belt undone and his pants unzipped. He let his pants drop, stepping out of them as he offered Brienne a hand. Her hair was mussed, her skin pink and marked by his teeth in several places. 

“Come with me,” he said hoarsely. 

Brienne took his hand, a bit wobbly as she stood. “You have a sword you’d like to show me?” she joked, breathless and smiling nervously at him.

Jaime shook his head. “I have a sword I'd like to give you.” He wasn't a patient man by nature, but Jaime wanted nothing more than to see how many times he could take her right to the edge before he let her come. He wanted to know what she looked like, what she sounded like, and what she tasted like when she finally let go.  


He kissed her again while they stumbled to the bedroom, too eager to take their hands off each other. 

* * *

Hyle came by about an hour later to return Brienne’s keys, but she wasn’t home. He thought about dropping them off with her neighbor, that smug rich guy Hyle had always hated, but he changed his mind before he could knock. 

From the sounds coming through the door, smug rich guy had company. Very loud, very enthusiastic female company. Of course he did. Why did guys like that always get the wild, uninhibited women? It wasn’t fair. But Hyle couldn’t find someone like that when he was still tied to Brienne, who wouldn’t let him tie her up and took forever to come. 

The woman in smug rich guy’s apartment called out to the Seven again and finally fell silent. Hyle adjusted himself in his pants and walked back to Brienne’s door. He shoved her keys under her doormat and left. There must be a bar around here where he could meet someone like the woman he’d just heard. If smug rich guy could find her, so could he.


End file.
